Tag Archives: rumination

On The Precipice…

Standard
…of something, I don’t know what…but I just know it, you know? I am a high anxiety kind of person, to be sure, but it’s not that – it’s something else. Not necessarily bad, not necessarily good. Just something. A tingling sensation on the back of my neck. What the hell is that? Is this normal? Am I losing my mind?
 
Ok, alright, I’ll just go with it. I feel optimistic I guess. I am unaccustomed to this feeling. Everything’s working out. Yeah. No you-know-what hitting the fan for once.
 
Maybe I’ve earned it. Naw, don’t go jinxing it now, Red, what’s the matter with you, you know the rules about this. You’ve now effed yourself up. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. But wait, we’re getting a tax refund! Shouldn’t I be jubilant? No! Says the Universe. In fact, you’re now gonna put your back out, or have gallstones. Something bad’s gonna happen. Geez, I sound like Woody Allen. Aw no, that’s really bad.
 
Just stay optimistic. Accept a good feeling, for once. Quit ruminating your freakin head off. If only I had a switch to turn it off. DOINK! Off now!
 
Oh yeah, this is why I used to drink, I remember. Learn to forget, learn to forget. Glad I don’t do that anymore. Let the good times roll, yeah, sure. Nuh-uh, not goin down that snake hole ever again.
 
So I’m left with raw feelings I guess, and have to FEEL things, like anticipation, worry, sorrow, stress, and woe, don’t forget woe.
 
Can I get a Get Out of Jail Free Card? Universe? Hello?