Tag Archives: Spirit

Plumber’s Helper

Plumber’s Helper

It appears as though I am clogged. Blocked. Impassible. Closed off. I am speaking about my Chakras. None of them are clear, apparently. All Chakras are closed; well, one is weak, at best. What do I do? And why am I letting some whackadoodle online snake oil presence make me feel bad? I am ordinarily a pretty skeptical and “show me” sort of person. I think everything is bullshit, cuz it usually is. But on a lark I took the Chakra test (see, I’m even capitalizing Chakra, as though it is something Sacred). My test results came back and I felt the diagnosis was something akin to being told I had some sort of incurable illness.

chakrasMy foot Chakra was closed, meaning that I am not grounded – that is a load of crap – I am grounded. Bullocks to that one. But based on their scientific questions, what if they’re right? Am I not grounded – and how do I open my foot Chakra? Do I upgrade my pedicures from basic to super luxury which includes a sea salt scrub, foot mask, followed by hot towel wrap, and finished with hot paraffin wax? My wintered feet are quite calloused…maybe this will help. But I don’t think that’s what they’re talking about. I will need to study this further.

My root Chakra is weak – ok, I’ll grant them that one – it has to do with money, which I’m not good with, and career. I am new to my second career and although things are good, it’s not going gangbusters and perhaps I could be more strong in this regard.

My sacral Chakra is CLOSED. Well they are just dead wrong about this one and I don’t even want to talk about it.

My personal power Chakra is CLOSED. I also call bullshit on this one; I’ve made great strides in my self-esteem and confidence…maybe I wasn’t having a good day when I answered their bullshit questions.

My heart Chakra is CLOSED. What the fuck?

My throat Chakra is CLOSED. Again wtf? I am not known for shy violetness or not speaking my mind. Jesus.

My intuitive Chakra is CLOSED. Yes, I have no intuition about anything. I’m totally closed and don’t have hunches and can’t suss anything out. Again, fuck you, snake oil Chakra-mongers.

My crown Chakra is CLOSED. This is the one regarding higher power or spirituality. Again, I don’t know how they determined this from their little bo peep questionnaire about my deeply personal values, but again, I’m gonna call bullshit and also shenanigans; you are just trying to sell me some kookoo videos with your whacky new age blatherings.

Ah, there now, I believe I’ve just cleared out all my Chakras in this post just as if I’ve downed a can of Drano or used the toilet snake to clear out the cosmic debris of my aura. I got shit I gotta do now.

Quotes about life, from some of my favorite living icons and a couple of dead ones.


“In art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth.” ~Patti Smith

Iggy-Pop-tumblr“They say that death kills you, but death doesn’t kill you. Boredom and indifference kill you.” ~Iggy Pop

“True friends. Hardest thing to find, but you never look for them – they found you; you just grow into each other” ~Keith Richards

“Style is whatever you want to do, if you can do it with confidence.” ~George Clinton geo

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ~Jim Morrison

“I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.” ~John Peel

“I’ve learned quite a lot over the years by avoiding what I was supposed to be learning.” Margaret Atwood

“I have no idea why a guy would bring a jar of peanut butter to a concert.” ~Iggy Pop

Do I Mind?


No, I don’t, actually. Keeping in mind that I’m talking about mindfulness, which I am dutifully learning about and thinking about trying on for size. Do I mind? Well, maybe I could… Could I meditate? Could I stop my busy buzz buzz noggin and settle in for a quiet sit? Maybe after an hour of walking, swimming or yoga – but that’s so hard. Oh there you go with the negativity, buzzy noggin. I’m working with a Zen master who could certainly teach me how to quiet things down up there, but I’m worried that my eyes will start twitching and watering, or I’ll start laughing or something. Do I have to quit coffee to do this – cuz I don’t want to give up coffee – it’s like my last addiction and I think I’m allowed to have my last addiction, come on! Maybe “unplugging” one day a week would be advisable…I could be getting a wee bit stressed from being hunched over this laptop to which I’ve become enslaved. No, I’m fine. Really.  zencoffee

I can’t even calm down during massages, and I’ve got a super massage therapist. At least I feel comfortable with telling her I can’t relax. I’ve been to massage practitioners where I felt I had to act a certain way during the massage, lest they judge me – now that’s just wrong, isn’t it? Jesus, I’m paying them to relax me and I’m worrying about what they think of me. I am one mixed up puppy. So now I have a regular therapist with whom I can say anything…I’ve been going to her for years and it’s like finding that one person who can cut your hair right – you need to foster and nourish that relationship just like your best friendship or even your marriage.

My typical exercise for relaxation is taking my two dogs out to the dogpark, letting them run and I walk a couple of miles. I’m on edge out there, too; what if I don’t catch Egor pooping – he sometimes runs way ahead and does his business where I can’t see him. I bring bags and clean up after them if I catch them, but, you know, shit happens. There are “poop police” out there, I swear, waiting to find the terrible, terrible dog owners who didn’t pick up. They even try to shame you on a Facebook page. Another anxiety is 95 pound Iggy, who occasionally likes to bark at guys, especially if they are wearing a hat and carrying one of those ball-throwing things – they just piss him off and he expresses himself to them. He just barks a couple of times, but it always hurts the barkee’s feelings and I always feel the need to apologize for Iggy’s insensitivity and explain that he’s just saying “Hi” in a really loud voice. Then I walk away, embarrassed.

Am I overly concerned about things? Maybe so. But maybe I’m already mindful…how about that? Maybe I’m not a nervous nelly ~ I have already reached a mindful, Zen state; I am just not aware of it yet. Yeah ok, I thought not. A mindful practice is just that – practice – and I know it takes a certain amount of discipline to do that. I’m not good with discipline – the word reminds me of Catholic school. Could we find another word for discipline? The words “obedience” and “regiment” come to mind, never mind. I need to just bite the bullet and try some guided meditation. So what if my eyes twitch and water? I will just have to accept that with loving kindness towards myself. See, I can do this.

A song for every feelink


I simply can’t get through the day without emoting in musical form. Today it’s been courtesy of the Davies brothers (and yeah, us Americans HAVE been mispronouncing it incorrectly for all these years…it IS “Davis,” not “Davees,”) and The Kinks. I keep telling my spousal unit about certain songs I want at my funeral; he thinks that’s morbid, but I think it’s good to be prepared. I’m not dying or anything, don’t worry. But when the time comes, I know I’ll be listening in, I mean, I’m fairly certain, and I want control of the set list.

I’m Crabby Today.


I feel sorta like This Guy

And sort of vexed. No, nope, I don’t really know why. This is a Machinist Man sort of mood; the kind where there’s no rhyme or reason for it – it just is. I will get over myself, eventually. I’ve been watching cute dog viddies – dogs trying to be friends with cats. Stuff like that usually sets me right; but no, not today – I’ve still got the crankies.


Oh no, she’s got her Irish up.

I had a great doctor check-up this morning – I’m very healthy! What, did I want for there to be something wrong? Geez! I was complaining to my very nice doctor, “Why do I need to come in here every 3 months – this is ridiculous!” And she goes, “Well, it’s been 7 months since you’ve been here.” I said, “Oh, well, ok, then.” And then she’d say stuff like, “Wow, you’ve lost 15 pounds! That’s great!” And I’d grumble, “Well don’t praise me, it’s nowhere near my goal!”

I know that if I take the dogs out to the dog park and get some fresh air (not sunshine – there’s been no sunshine for I don’t know how many days now – oh, there’s a clue there) I might get nudged out of this snarliness (is that a word?), but it’s way better than getting depressed. Is this progress for me? I don’t know, maybe? M’Man thinks it’s way, way healthier his way; that is, express stuff outwardly rather than inward and getting low down and blue. Taking all the problems in, feeling guilty and ashamed.

Maybe I’m learning. Hmmmm.

My Inner Dork


So this is how I feel the majority of the time. I am Doofus Supreme. Don’t even look at me. I am a goofball.

Best Picture of Me, Ever.

But you know what? I look at this little girl with fondness and I guess I love her, finally. She’s kind of cute and she’s not dumb. Yes, she always feels like a dork, but she gets over it, and she, well, she is all kinds of ok, actually. Probably a little more than ok, a lot of the time. No, she rocks.

Promo Promo Promo!


The Wave Project – Pledge Drive Edition

Sunday, April 6, 2014 – 10:00am to 11:00am

Patti and Leila team up and come at you with music Detroit Rock City style, enabling you to shake loose your ATM and credit cards from your chain wallets and pledge heartily to the radio station you love – FRESH AIR – KFAI. Patti taps into her Motor City roots and dedicates this show to the late Scott Asheton, drummer for The Stooges, with the noise that made Detroit RAWK. You’ll hear the MC5, the Frost, the Rationals, Frijid Pink, and, of course, Iggy and the Stooges, the greatest band that ever was. Get ready to rama lama fa fa fa.

The Art of Healing – IWD at KFAI




Here’s the link for Marie Cooney’s International Women’s Day show which I pushed the buttons for last Saturday. It was a great program – Marie did a super job and I was almost moved to tears by her story and the stories of her guests. They had all been affected in one way or another by severe brain injuries and experienced great triumphs over extreme adversities and awful prognoses; doctors telling them that there’d be no more reading, etc. Very inspirational and I was humbled by their stories.

Space Is The Place, Indeed


sun raWent to a killer show at First Avenue tonight – Tacoma, Washington’s The Sonics – so wonderful – yes, rock and roll can sanctify and save my soul.

But you know, when it’s almost 3:00 a.m., and I’m feeling contemplative, sometimes my thoughts turn towards the Sun… Sun Ra. There’s never been anyone like this cat – ever. This documentary is mind-blowing, truly. At certain points in the film, you totally start believing that he is not really from this Earth. He’s quite convincing.

He was sort of dictator-like in the discipline he imparted upon the musicians he worked with – they were “his” musicians – much more like family. Sort of cultish, really. But it seems like he needed to be that way in order for his vision to come to fruition.

He took jazz to a level not ever duplicated by another living soul. Dig it.